胡适留学日记卷八一四、C. W. 论男女交际之礼

卷八一四、C. W. 论男女交际之礼

　　（二月三日）

　　C. W. 来书，摘录其精华如下。此君思想不凡，真能超然尘表者也。

　　My habit, as you well know, is to consider what is right for the highest type of human being… The only "propriety" between those persons of the highest type—that is those who have had their eyes opened to the beauty of a still higher human development, and souls stimulated to the constant effort of realizing it—is propriety of thought．It is quite simple, isn't it? The things worthy of either of two people to be thought of at all, can worthily be thought of together….

　　When one thinks alone there are many things which one faces squarely and then casts away as unfit, and if one does this as promptly before speaking, surely there can be no impropreity．And in the association (or friendship) of man and woman, surely this all holds good, if the truth of sex attraction is clearly understood and valued for just so much as it is good for, and if, when it consciously appears not of use. it is consciously put away by wilful turning of the attention to the higher side of that friendship．And because of the possibility of this effort being called into action, should all the richness of communication between human beings whose real life after all is spiritual and not physical, be blocked by a "sense of propriety"? Surely some of the closest and most stimulating interaction of thought comes between two persons no more．It is true between two women, and I feel sure it is so between two men, and it is true between a man and a woman.…

　　〔中译〕

　　我的习惯，正如你非常了解的，我一直在思考什么是对于最高层次合适的“礼仪”。……最高层次的人，他们总是追求人类更高发展的美，灵魂不断受到激励去力求实现这种美。对于这些人而言，他们之间的“礼仪”是一种属于思想上的东西，这难道不是非常简单的吗？对于双方交往中任何一方值得去思考的东西，完全也值得双方共同来思考。……

　　有许多东西，当你正视它之后便会知道它是不合适的而要放弃它。如果一个人在开口说话之前能这样想一想的话，那就不可能有不合乎“礼仪”的行为了。这也适用于男女之间的交往。只要性吸引的真谛被清楚地了解，看重它本来的价值，自觉地抛开它的实用性，自觉地将注意力转向这种交往中的较高层次的一方面，要将这一切努力付之于行动是完全可能的，那么，对于那些生活的本质是精神性的而不是物质性的人们来说，他们之间的丰富的交往还会受到所谓“礼仪”的阻碍么？两个人之间最容易产生亲近的、激发思想交流的欲望。两个女人之间是如此，两个男人之间是如此，一个女人和一个男人之间也同样如此。……

　　右论男女交际之“礼”，可谓卓识。此论即在所谓最自由放任之美国亦足骇人听闻。盖此邦号称自由耳，其社会风尚宗教礼俗，则守旧之习极深，其故家大族尤甚。C. W.，女子中之有革命眼光者也。其家庭中之守旧空气，C. W. 对之如在囹圄，其远去纽约，终岁仅数归，未尝不为此故。此君盖可谓为“divine discontent”者也。又曰：

　　Education—Choice—then Vital Activity—is not this the way a people should develope?

　　〔中译〕

　　教育——选择——然后是至关重要的行动，这不正是人们应该遵循的发展道路吗？

　　此见道之言也。

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