芒果街上的小屋红色小丑

红色小丑

　　萨莉，你撒谎。根本不是你说的那样。他所做的。他碰我哪里。我不想要那样，萨莉。他们是那么说的，我是那么以为的，所有的故事书和电影，你们为什么对我撒谎？

　　我在红色小丑旁边等着。我站在你说的摩天转轮旁边。可不管怎样我不喜欢嘉年华会。我和你一起去，因为你在转轮上笑，你头向后仰哈哈大笑。我拿着你的零钱，挥着手，数你过去多少次。那些男孩都看着你，因为你漂亮。我喜欢和你在一起，萨莉。你是我的朋友。可那个大男孩，他把你带到哪儿去了？我等了那么长时间。我听了你的话，等在红色小丑旁，可你一直没来，你一直没来找我。

　　萨莉萨莉都一百遍了。为什么我喊你你听不到？为什么你不叫他们让我一个人待着？那个抓着我胳膊的人，他不让我走。他说我爱你，西班牙姑娘，我爱你，然后把他酸酸的嘴唇按在我的嘴唇上面。

　　萨莉，让他停下。我没法让他们走开。我除了哭什么都做不了。我不记得了。天黑了。我不记得了。我不记得了。请别让我说出全部。

　　为什么你丢下我一个人在那里？我好像等了一辈子。你是个撒谎者。他们都在撒谎。所有的书和杂志，所有的那么乱讲的人和物。只有他脏乎乎的指头压在我的皮肤上，他那酸酸的气味又来了。俯望的月亮。摩天转轮。红色的小丑发出粗哑的笑声。

　　然后颜色开始旋转，天空倾斜了。他们穿着高高的黑色体操鞋跑开了。萨莉，你撒谎，你撒谎。他不放我走。他说我爱你，我爱你，西班牙姑娘。

　　Sally, you lied. It wasn't what you said at all. What he did. Where he touched me. I didn't want it, Sally. The way they said it, the way it's supposed to be, all the storybooks and movies, why did you lie to me?

　　I was waiting by the red s. I was standing by the tilt-a-whirl where you said. And anyway I don't like ivals. I went to be with you because you laugh oilt-a-whirl, you throw your head bad laugh. I hold your ge, wave, t how many times you go by. Those boys that look at you because you're pretty. I like to be with you, Sally. You're my friend. But that big boy, where did he take you? I waited such a long time. I waited by the red s, just like you said, but you never came, you never came for me.

　　Sally Sally a huimes. Why didn't you hear me when I called? Why didn't you tell them to leave me alohe one who grabbed me by the arm, he wouldn't let me go. He said I love you, Spanish girl, I love you, and pressed his sour mouth to mine.

　　Sally, make him stop. I couldn't make them go away. I couldn't do anything but cry. I don't remember. It was dark. I don't remember. I don't remember. Please don't make me tell it all.

　　Why did you leave me all alone? I waited my whole life. You're a liar. They all lied. All the books and magazines, everything that told it wrong. Only his dirty fingernails against my skin, only his sour smell again. The moon that watched. The tilt-a-whirl. The red s laughing their thick-tongue laugh.

　　Then the colors began to whirl. Sky tipped. Their high black gym shoes ran. Sally, you lied, you lied. He wouldn't let me go. He said I love you, I love you, Spanish girl.

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